STANDARD DISCLAIMER

 

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to

real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where

prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank

number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use

only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use

while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid

by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell

securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some

viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For

recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age.

If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts

inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change

without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage

necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes

acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size

fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of

non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the

forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only.

Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited

for television. Keep cool. process promptly. Post office will not

deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to

sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible

for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from

any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations

only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence.

Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line.

Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your

receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized

for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here

without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.

Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog.

Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited

time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to

win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary.

Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a

garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away from

fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths

for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is

optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not

recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction

strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No

anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for

resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull

down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of

the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification

purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.

Unix is a registeredtrademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.

No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold

by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not

reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my

friends, or my cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything.

All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely but you may

not make a profit from it. Terms are subject to change without notice.

Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to

actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely

coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand

wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or

spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This article

is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor.

Article is provided "as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full

responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt, no

articles. quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are

discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an

authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Parental advisory -

explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may

find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from

sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family

please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to

win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Instructions are

included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added.

Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for

your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call before you

dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use

only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue

reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures

and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact

with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture,

incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a

flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to

your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use

of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If

ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a

physician. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should

avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball. Caution: Happy FUn Ball may

suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Happy Fun Ball contains a

liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture should not be touched,

inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.

Discontinute use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:

Itching, Vertigo, Dizziness, Tingling in extremities, Loss of balance or

coordination, Slurred speech, Temporary blindness, Profuse Sweating, or

Heart palpitations. If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away

immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Happy Fun Ball may stick to

certain types of skin. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be

returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure

to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products

Incorporated, and it's parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any

and all liability. Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown

glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is

also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt Happy Fun

Ball. May cause any of the aforementioned effects and/or death. Articles

are ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal.

Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher west of the

Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to read.

Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado,

tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of

God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage,

improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet,

missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from

nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not

covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship

sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item,

falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or

projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets,

shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays,

Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Seek help immediately

if you are actually reading this!

 

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In the unlikely event we have forgotten anything, were just sorry as hell !