STANDARD DISCLAIMER
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any
resemblance to
real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void
where
prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check
separately by bank
number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during
shipment. Use
only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do
not use
while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage
will be paid
by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer
to sell
securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense
for some
viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional
listings. For
recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18
years of age.
If condition persists, consult your physician. No
user-serviceable parts
inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to
change
without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No
postage
necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal
constitutes
acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on
TV. One size
fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial
amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have
sent the
forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For
office use only.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any
mailbox. Edited
for television. Keep cool. process promptly. Post office
will not
deliver without postage. List was current at time of
printing. Return to
sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not
responsible
for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages
resulting from
any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating
locations
only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label
for sequence.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below
this line.
Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled
check is your
receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with
skin. Sanitized
for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Sign here
without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the
Mississippi.
Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of
dog.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the
show. Limited
time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be
present to
win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase
necessary.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Shading within a
garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep
away from
fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for
veterans. Booths
for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some
equipment shown is
optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins.
Not
recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone.
Reproduction
strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or
horses. No
anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package,
not for
resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up,
then pull
down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry
cash. Some of
the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for
identification
purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of
previous stub.
Unix is a registeredtrademark of AT&T. Do not fold,
spindle or mutilate.
No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
Package sold
by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article
does not
reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company,
my
friends, or my cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me
on anything.
All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely
but you may
not make a profit from it. Terms are subject to change
without notice.
Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any
resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely
coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of
law. Hand
wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold,
mutilate, or
spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only.
This article
is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted.
Caveat emptor.
Article is provided "as is" without any
warranties. Reader assumes full
responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no
shirt, no
articles. quantities are limited while supplies last. If any
defects are
discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return
to an
authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Parental
advisory -
explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some
readers may
find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away
from
sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit
one-per-family
please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not
be present to
win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included.
Instructions are
included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives
added.
Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during
use. Sealed for
your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call
before you
dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For
external use
only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops,
discontinue
reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme
temperatures
and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames.
Avoid contact
with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not
puncture,
incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not
place near a
flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this article could be
hazardous to
your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence,
is the use
of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring
added. If
ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist,
consult a
physician. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and
children should
avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball. Caution: Happy
FUn Ball may
suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Happy Fun Ball
contains a
liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture should not be
touched,
inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Happy Fun Ball on
concrete.
Discontinute use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following
occurs:
Itching, Vertigo, Dizziness, Tingling in extremities, Loss
of balance or
coordination, Slurred speech, Temporary blindness, Profuse
Sweating, or
Heart palpitations. If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get
away
immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Happy Fun Ball may
stick to
certain types of skin. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball
should be
returned to its special container and kept under
refrigeration. Failure
to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky
Products
Incorporated, and it's parent company, Global Chemical
Unlimited, of any
and all liability. Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an
unknown
glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer
space.
Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi
Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt
Happy Fun
Ball. May cause any of the aforementioned effects and/or
death. Articles
are ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early
withdrawal.
Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher
west of the
Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to
read.
Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning,
flood, tornado,
tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other
Acts of
God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line
voltage,
improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred
cabinet,
missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation
from
nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments
that are not
covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane
crash, ship
sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping
the item,
falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest
fire, or
projectile (which can include, but not be limited to,
arrows, bullets,
shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or
emissions of X-rays,
Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Seek help
immediately
if you are actually reading this!
______________________________________________________
In the unlikely event we have forgotten anything, were just sorry as hell !